Slipping Away

Friends and family-

I wanted to prepare you all by letting you know that Rene is slowly slipping away. When she came home from the hospital, she decided to stay in the livingroom on the reclining chair. She felt that going into the hospital bed in her room would be saved for the end days of her life. She has now moved from the chair to her bed and is struggling to take in liquids. Food is no longer of interest to her, and words are very difficult to form at this point.

I spend a few minutes pondering words and language this evening. The use of words is a very earthly utility. When one has a foot beyond this earth, words no longer seem to contain significance.

Rene is very keenly aware of her space and still enjoys the sounds of the family around her. We now gather on the porch outside her room, or read her the beautiful cards that you have sent to her. I spent some time in prayer with her this evening and she squeezed my hand as I talked about the many beautiful things that she has seen and accomplished in her lifetime including bicycling through Australia, teaching so many kindergartners in PE, empowering the many young people that she came accross ,(American Cancer society, Sun Microsystems, San Jose State, Girl Scouts of America and Notre Dame High School, among many others) to do great things and find their potential (I am definitely one of them!), defining her own family unit through her marriage to Christopher (Dad), and her amazing motherhood of me (daughter) through the way that she nurtured and challenged us and her grandchildren, watching the birth of my daughter Addison, and many more amazing memories. We gave thanks for the opportunity to truly LIVE in 50 years the way many won't even live in 90.

Rene has also been an undeniably fantastic wife and even through this troubled time, she has encouraged my dad to live a full and create, happy life until they are together again in heaven. She continues to look after her family including her parents and brother through this trying time. Just last night she was mostly asleep, but still managed to hear Cooper accross the room (and out of sight) tinkering with Honey's figurines, and reminded him to move away from them! She is still grandparenting at the end! That is Rene for ya! Most recently, she has given those closest to her a renewed perspective on life, and fueled each of our enthusiasm for how we live each day. She hasn't complained through this experience, but rather has furvently searched for peace. And peace is where she is tonight.

I can tell by the look in her eyes that she is ready to go. She is clearly uncomfortable with the heaviness of her body, and is almost ready to leave us for her heavenly home. She has reached acceptance and is now looking forward to being with God and seeing her big brother Mark, who will likely tease her for the next eternity! She is still not in pain (A little discomfort) and has only had the need for a tiny bit of morophine each night to sleep. She prefers to be as lucid as possible while she is awake, so that she can breath in the sights and sounds of those around her. In a nutshell, that is our Rene. Always wanting to take in everything around her, to meet the stranger sitting next to her, or squeeze her parents and grandchildren. As my dad put it, "she is a bright shining star who burned so bright, that she faded more quickly than most".

Please be at peace as you prepare yourself, knowing that Rene has lived an amazing (be it short) life here on this earth.

P.S. Your cards and blog posts have been amazing. We have been reading them each to her and she has a smile for all of you! Suzy Purnell- your "F**K Cancer" card was hilarious and definitely gave her a good laugh! It also got me to say "F**K" two times which were the first and last times she has ever heard me curse!!! :)I felt that under the circumstances, it was appropriate!

More soon.

Love,

Kristen